Patient and Caregiver: When Cancer Worlds Collide with Megan-Claire Chase
Megan-Claire Chase was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer at 39 after watching her mother go through her own cancer. Megan reads her piece "When Cancer Worlds Collide'" from Wildfire Magazine's 2018 "Caregivers" issue.
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When Cancer Worlds Collide: A Reflection on Caregiving and Survival
In 2018, we published a special issue dedicated to caregivers, shining a light on their often-overlooked role in the cancer journey. One poignant story in that issue came from a young woman navigating her dual role as both a caregiver and a cancer patient. Megan-Claire Chase shares her powerful narrative, “When Cancer Worlds Collide,” and it resonates deeply with many young cancer survivors who find themselves in similar situations.
A Personal Journey Through Cancer
Megan-Claire recounts her journey through breast cancer while simultaneously caring for her mother, who has been battling cancer herself. Her mother's first fight was against ovarian cancer when she was pregnant with Megan-Claire, and their relationship has been shaped by these experiences.
When her mother was diagnosed with essential thrombocythemia, a rare blood cancer, Megan-Claire felt her world crumbling. As an only child of divorced parents, her mother was her rock, and the fear of losing that support weighed heavily on her. Despite the distance created by her move to Los Angeles for college, she kept tabs on her mother's health through "spies" who reported back on her condition.
After a series of health challenges, including surgeries and a shift to more intensive treatments, Megan-Claire herself received a breast cancer diagnosis at age 39. Suddenly, the dynamic shifted; she was now the patient. This transition brought about a range of emotions, including frustration and anger, as the support she had expected from her mother during treatment often felt insufficient.
The Challenges of Dual Roles
Megan-Claire’s experience highlights the complexity of caregiving, particularly when the caregiver also needs care. The emotional toll is significant, as they navigate not just physical health issues, but the intricacies of their relationship. She vividly recalls moments in the infusion center where instead of solace, she found conflict and misunderstanding with her mother — a situation exacerbated by the exhaustion that comes with cancer treatment.
Despite their struggles, Megan-Claire recognized the need for open communication and boundaries. She learned that it wasn’t selfish to prioritize her own health. This realization was pivotal in helping her manage her dual roles. By being honest about her fatigue and limitations, she began to create a support network that included friends and community members, easing the burden of caregiving.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
Writing about her experiences provided a cathartic release for Megan-Claire. It allowed her to process the weight of her feelings and recognize the evolution of her relationship with her mother. The act of putting pen to paper helped clarify her needs and boundaries, ultimately leading to a healthier dynamic between them.
She shares an important lesson: It’s essential to prioritize your own well-being. Caregivers often feel the pressure to put their loved ones first, but neglecting personal health can lead to a downward spiral for both caregiver and patient.
Advice for Young Survivors
For those navigating similar paths, the author offers these key insights:
Be Open About Your Needs: Don’t hesitate to express when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Your loved ones may not realize the extent of your fatigue or emotional strain.
Set Healthy Boundaries: It’s crucial to recognize that you can’t do it all. Seek help from friends, family, or support groups to share the caregiving load.
Communicate Effectively: Work on understanding each other’s emotional needs and love languages. What may seem obvious to one person can be completely foreign to another.
Self-Care is Not Selfish: Prioritize your health and well-being. Recognize that taking care of yourself allows you to be a better caregiver.
As we reflect on stories like Megan-Claire’s, it’s clear that sharing our experiences can not only be healing but also help others feel less alone in their struggles.
Writing Prompt Inspired by Today’s Episode
There is a saying that goes, when one person in a family has cancer, the whole family has cancer. Many in the Wildfire community have found this to be true, while others have felt it's untrue — stingingly untrue. They have felt let down by how their families have reacted or not reacted to their cancer.
So I ask you, how has cancer affected the close relationships in your life? Who stepped up and who disappeared? What stories do you need to unpack there? To explore this, I want you to write two letters today. Whether you send them or not is up to you.
Letter one will be a letter of gratitude to someone who really came through for you during your experience.
And letter two will be to someone who let you down.
Again, you don't have to send either letter, but writing it can be extremely helpful in terms of unburdening yourself from something you might be carrying.
Set your timer for eight minutes. Write without stopping. See what needs to come out and where it will take you.
For more writing inspiration check out our free prompts and learn about our workshops.
Happy writing! Until next time, take good care.
Episode Links
Follow Megan-Claire on Instagram
Read a transcript of this podcast
Purchase the “Caregivers” issue of Wildfire Magazine
Listen to more episodes centered on caregivers: “Well, Let’s Start a Podcast by Danielle Hernandez” and “Let the Mirror Shatter” by Wang Shein
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